Brave Not Perfect
I had the fortune of spending a glorious week, on a boat, with a group of six 8 year-old girls. We were gathered to learn how to boat: safely, intelligently, and independently.
The group of tiny mariners trooped on board decked out in full boating regalia: rainbow swimsuits, unicorn lunch boxes, sparkly goggles, chipped nailpolish, messy braids, and colored sunscreen lipgloss.
They were rambunctious; brimming over with laughter and silliness! They could hardly contain themselves as we spotted nurse sharks, herons, and egrets in nests. They learned to cast. They tussled to get bait on hooks. They held their breath, cleared their ears and got as close as they could to the vibrant fish swimming among the corals - as if they could make new friends in that underwater world if they could just get close enough to introduce themselves!
They variously swallowed gallons of saltwater, got sunscreen in their eyes, got speared with fish spikes, and got bruised and bumped by disagreeable hatches and misplaced anchors.
These vivacious little girls own the helm! In their own brave little way!
Brave
These awesome young women were brave. They trucked through the week soaking up as much fun as they could, learning the entire time.
They mastered tying a cleat and a bowline. Not minding if they had to do it over and over to get it right.
They relished the power beneath their little hands as they pushed the throttle forward and got that boat up and on to a roaring plane! YES!
They tried to steer a straight course, but sure didn’t mind a little help to wrestle the wheel in to submission.
Each tried out barking a few captain’s orders, happily realizing that they had the floor when they were behind the helm.
They navigated channels. They waved to other boats. They learned to check their wake.
The week was about trial and error. Seeing what we could do. Trying new things. Jumping in feet first. Asking questions. Making mistakes.
Not Perfect
These little girls were brave. And completely unencumbered by the thought they had to do anything perfectly.
I was in awe, and couldn’t help but wonder when it is that grownups forget that being brave will always, always be better than being perfect.
If you have a little girl in your life, I hope this summer, you put that little soul behind the wheel and launch her on the road to love being on the water as much as you do - without ever having to do anything ‘perfect.’
An Easy Little Girl (and Big Girl!) Checklist to Get Started at the Helm
Girls belong at the helm. Focusing on a few key concepts will get things moving in the right direction. Keeping concepts and skills simple and easy makes success easy to find.
Most Important Rule
The most important rule in boating is to avoid running into anything. This means reminding your young captain to keep an eagle eye out on her surroundings. Remind her to take a quick look behind the boat and from side to side while she is the captain. Remind her she always has the option of slowing down and even stopping the boat. In the end, if she does nudge up against something - she should try to do it softly - a boat can always be fixed.
Learn the Basic Vocabulary
Introduce these new words to the beginner: bow, stern, throttle, port, and starboard. Let her put the boat on a plane, realize what happens to a boat in a current, and learn how waves and wind affect her steering. Understanding these basics and sharing a new vocabulary makes learning easy!
Learn to Steer a Course
Take the time to just mess around at the helm, letting the youngster realize how much throttle she needs to use in order to maintain steering. Identify a fixed object and steer to it. Take the time for her to realize just how much lag time exists between turning the wheel and having the boat respond.
Communicate
Teach your new captain to communicate. When she’s at the helm, she’s responsible for the safety of her passengers. She can give directions like telling passengers to put on lifejackets, or move this way or that so she can see to steer. . . . . It is okay for her to be in charge!
Put the Boat on a Plane, Steer Going Fast
Teach her to put the boat on a plane smoothly. Once on a plane, verbalize what YOU are paying attention to - waves, current, other boats. What are you watching out for? Remind her she can always slow down if she wants. Practice steering while the boat is going fast.
Take the Boat Off a Plane
Gently take the boat off a plane. Teach her to drive with finesse - maintaining control of her speed and keeping her passengers comfortable.
Save the Rest for Later
Learning a few basic terms, learning how to steer going fast and slow, and putting the boat on and off a plane is plenty for a new boater to master. A brave little person is well on her way to a successful boating career if she takes on these tasks.
I am adopting the “Brave, Not Perfect!” motto on my boat this summer. I hope you and the little girl in your life will too!
To hear more good thoughts on courageous girls see this Ted Talk. In the meantime, email me at shesatsea@gmail.com to tell me how your brave summer at the helm is shaping up!